When You Are Desperate
by Jay's Lullaby
Summary: Miku has a sick mother in the hospital and can't find a way to pay the hospital bills. She becomes desperate enough to cross dress as a boy and enter the Kagamine House as their butler. But what will happen when she learns that the guy she has to care for has a problem with butlers? And what happens when Miku finds out a secret she didn't want to know? MikuxLen, RinxMikuo
1. Chapter 1

Being desperate is the worst circumstance a human being to go through. You become aware of the desperation and do anything to get out of it. It is even worse when somebody's life is on the line and you hold responsible. You hold the life of the person in your hand and you know it is slipping slowly out of your grasp. Now you know you have to do anything, just to get a firm grip to that life you wish to hold.

. . . . . . . .

I hold my mother's hand, holding it gently as though it was made out of glass. So soft yet so fragile as if when the wind blows, it could all shatter. The machine sounds like if it was her breathing, slow and not human. All the cables connect to her as she tries to live through them; every minute of her breathing depends on those cables. The white of the room and all the shiny objects blinds me and give me a sense of despair that is unreachable. She sleeps with restless eyes and a rough breathing pattern, which makes her short brown hair move only slightly. I move my hand to fix her sheets, which were falling of her, when her open a bit.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

She smiles the best she could and looks at my eyes. She frowns and looks at me worriedly, like she always does.

"Miku, have you been crying again? You know I don't like to see you cry."

I wipe at the dried tears on my cheek and smile at her, making sure not to look sad.

"I'm sorry I can't help it, after what the doctor said…I break down….I keep repeating over and over what he said and….I can't…"

I find myself crying, with my hand on my mother's blanket. Crying with absolutely no breath, my mother puts her hand on my head and I don't dare look at her so she doesn't see me cry.

. . . . . . . .

My mother fell asleep again and I walk out of the room, thinking of what I am to do of this situation. They keep on saying that if we aren't able to pay the medical bills, she won't be able to stay for long. "With no insurance we can't guarantee that she will stay," they kept on telling me. My mother was the only one that worked in the house of just the both of us and money grew scarce each time she came to the hospital. Since my twin ran away from home, a year ago and that put my mom worse than she was before.

I searched everywhere for a job that would pay for my mom's stay in the hospital but I found none. I felt the doctors breathing down my neck about the bills that I even see them in my dreams, mocking me, every day, every minute, every second, every breathe. Feeling worthless and wanting to lay down and cry for hours and just die. That would be too cowardly but that is all I can do.

Then as I walk by, on my way home from the hospital, I hear hope in a form of words.

"Have heard the Kagamine House needs a butler?"

"Yeah and they are holding job applications."

"I wonder who would ever choose that job, that Kagamine boy is such a snob."

Two girls seem to be talking on the way to the bus stop and at that moment, I know that I have a chance and I know that I must act now. No matter and what the circumstance, I must go and I am ready. From taking care of my brother left on my shoulders, I knew what I must do.

From there I run home as fast as I can and enter our shabby little house. I walk to my room and take a good look in the mirror. I let go of my two ponytails and let my long hair flow, so much hair that took so long to grow. I look at the scissors and hold them in my hand.

"For my mom"

I cut my hair, bit by bit, chunk by chunk until I have a boyish style of hair that reached my neck with my bangs of to the side and stare at the mirror because now someone else was staring back at me.

I look in my brother's room and try to find any form of ID. Anything that would make me him in every single way possible and I rummage through stuff that hasn't been touched in year. Suddenly I see something under his cabinet. Dusty and faded is his ID with his picture and his smiling face. I miss the talks we would have and how he would make me feel better by making me laugh.

Clenching the ID in my hand, I prepare myself for the job interview. Gathering any clothes that will fit me and I wrap a bandage around my chest and make it look as flat as possible. Miku is now a part of my past and when I enter the Kagamine House I will be, Mikuo Hatsune.

. . . . . . . .

At the golden gate of the Kagamine House, I feel my heart beating out of my chest. I am more nervous than ever and all the books that I read on being a butler are slowly slipping out of my mind. I take a deep breath and push the button to enter.

"Who wishes to enter the Kagamine Household?"

"It is Miku…o! Mikuo Hatsune, I am here for the butler job interview."

I almost blow it but I sigh in relief when I see the gates open. Swallowing all my nervous feelings I walk through the beautiful greenery of the house. Such a luxurious house it made you want to blink twice to make sure it is real. I would be dreaming of such a house when I was little, pretending that I was a princess in her castle. Never did I know I would be entering a palace like this as a servant, not a princess.

Ringing the door bell, after the first ring, right away the door swings open, shocking me to the point of almost fainting. Out comes a girl with short green lime hair and matching green eyes. Wearing a short black maid dress and a dusty apron and a duster in her hand, she delicately smiles at me.

"Hello, my name is Gumi," she says while dusting her hands off, "I am here to show you to the interview."

"My name is Mikuo, and it is very mice to meet you."

I bow my head and follow her through the huge halls that seemed to shine every single nook and cranny. Not trying to look too impressed with the décor, I close my mouth and keep the oohs and aahs from coming out. Then we come to a huge white door as though it was painted in melted pearls. I wipe the sweat of my brow and take deep breaths. Gumi then touches my shoulder.

"It will go fine, trust me."

Her smile reassures me but then suddenly the door opens. A tall man comes out with long purple hair tied in a ponytail and a sharp business suit.

"I am Gakupo and I will be interviewing you."

His straight face then turns into a smile that is gentle and kindhearted as I enter the huge business room and now all I have to do is sit in the chair. I close my eyes because now I must do what is best to get this job.

. . . . . . . .

The interview is over and my heart was in my throat, constantly reminding me that I might not make it. Gakupo and his wife Luka are discussing it over in the room while I'm outside biting my nails. I could hear voices but not what they are saying and the anxiety is making me pull my hair out. Just for a moment I look to my right and I catch someone walking by. A boy with blonde hair and blue eyes that were lined with a little bit of green, like the sea floor. He walks by slowly with indifference and stares at me. Not in a friendly way but not being mean either, his eyes actually look a tiny bit sad. He has fair skin and a very handsome face. He seems to be walking outside and I quickly heard the door open and close. Just that glimpse gave me goose bumps and my heart started to race slowly and goes increasing by the second.

I shake my head and decide to snap out of it. It isn't time to start thinking about other stuff that isn't what is in front of me, the unsure future of a job.

**Well I hope you guys like it! I worked hard on this chapter and don't worry there is more coming :D **


	2. Chapter 2

The door suddenly clicks, making me jump as Luka looks at me. She opens the door completely revealing Gakupo, looking at me seriously while walking in front of me. I don't know what to think of the situation and I look at the floor and close my eyes, waiting for whatever verdict comes my way. I cringe and behold-

"Welcome to the Kagamine House, Mr. Hatsune."

My eyes open wide and I look up at Luka and Gakupo, their smiling faces making me feel whole inside. There could be no greater feeling than stress being lifted off your shoulders. I feel overwhelmed by the news and try my hardest to keep the joy from showing on my face. I stood up and bowed my head towards them.

"Thank you! You don't know how much this means to me. I was so worried I wouldn't get this job."

Luka laughs and not a very lady like laugh, it is a full hearted laugh that could almost make her topple over. She holds her stomach and puts her hand on my shoulder while wiping a tear from her eye.

"You…..r-really…don't….h-hear rumors…..do you?" she said between breathes.

I am completely confused by this random outburst of laughter and focus my gaze on Gakupo who also seems struggling to keep his laugh from escaping. I just stand there, blank faced, really not sure what to say, do or even think. The laughter catches me of guard and my head is spinning with questions I need answered but I settle for the one that slips out of my mouth.

"May I ask why are you laughing?"

Suddenly both of them change their faces from amusement to worry. They scratch the back of their heads and look down at the floor.

"Well…..you see…."

Gakupo couldn't quite finish but Luka found the words to finish of his sentence.

"Well, you see Mikuo, you were the only one who applied for this job…so….."

My eyes opened wide enough for them to pop out of my skull and my mouth would have served as a great place to set a nest for birds. All that worrying of not getting the job was for nothing. A new thing to worry about surfaced and my mind was spinning. I want to drop down on all fours and sulk but I sustain my balance for the time being.

"Why didn't anyone else apply for this job?"

They look at each other simultaneously and put the same face of worry but this time it looks worse. Way worse, so much like if they said it they would be stepping on some huge crap. They are in deep thought not knowing what to say or in fact how to say it.

"Our son….he has…..well…..you see, he….."

Suddenly a girl stepped from behind with great elegance.

"He hates butlers"

She said it so calmly; it took me a good solid ten seconds to sink in what has just been said. It hit me like a ton of bricks on my head and now was when my knees gave in and I am on all fours. You could basically see the dark aura that I was emanating and Luka looks worriedly at me.

"Oh! Mikuo! Are you alright?"

She pats my shoulders but how could I be alright? How could I take care of someone who doesn't want to be taken care of? And on the other note hates you just because you are taking care of him?

"Rin! I didn't know you were coming! I would have gotten something ready for you to eat."

Then I now decide to recognize who had said that and notice a well refined blonde about the same age as me. Her face is smooth and nice like porcelain and her cheeks are cute and rosy, not like mine. Her eyes are solid blue like a huge clear puddle and her eyelashes are naturally long and classically beautiful. I feel jealous just looking at her beauty but I still admire it like a fine painting. She smiles politely at Luka and Gakupo.

"It is ok, Mrs. Kagamine, I just came to see Len. If you'll excuse me, I will go to his room."

She bowed her head at them as she walks up the shiny marble stairs. I get up from the floor to tell her that he was outside but she is already gone. She was so graceful with the golden threaded dress and the white bow in her hair. Now that I look at her she looks like the perfect bride.

"Oh, Mikuo you could start tomorrow so today you could pack your stuff and rest in your home. Trust me you will need it."

Gakupo gives me a firm grip on the shoulder and smiles at me. I sigh and stand up straight.

"Thank you, Mr. Kagamine, you will not be disappointed."

With that I say my good byes and head for the door, walking out to the yard so I could leave. I suddenly hear a rustle of leafs from a nearby tree and I look over but see nothing. I look around the tree quietly searching and I find a hand picking up dandelions. A guy blowing dandelions into the breeze with cool blue eyes while sitting on the grass with his back to the tree trunk and his blonde hair blowing in the slightly with the wind coming back to its place. I can't help but stare at him, such sad looking eyes and bangs that brush against his forehead. Suddenly his eyes lock on mine, a 5 second silence where we just stare. Then he gets up, startling me and says, "You must be my new butler. I am Len, your nightmare."

My eyes go wide, I have a feeling that living with him is going to be war.

"Ummmm…..y-yes, I a-am."

I stutter out of nervousness and I shakily bow my head at him. I hear a snicker emanating from him.

"Why do you even bother?"

"W-what d-d-do you m-mean?"

My voice is shaky and he could tell. He scowls at me and he grabs my shirt pulling me close to his face. His breath just centimeters away and my eyes were full of fear and he could see it.

"Why do you bother sucking up to me, when I will never see you as equal. People like you disgust me and you won't last a week here and I will promise you that."

He lets go of me and walks to the house. My shirt still crinkled from the way he grabbed it, I know now what I am dealing with. I walk to the gate and I feel the sadness taking over me and the weirdest thing is, there were two reasons. Afraid to lose my job and afraid because I don't know why I want to be near him.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

When I wake up this morning I decide to pack my stuff right away. I then come across a photo of my mother and father. So young and happy with smiles that are timeless. I touch the picture and I place my thumb on my mother's stomach, the place Mikuo and I was when the picture was taken. On the back the words, "To the love of my life, Kaito. Love, Meiko,"are written. My mother's eyes were so full of life and love but that was back then. The time my mother laughed with the joy and her smile was genuinely real, that all disappeared the day my father died.

I was 12 years old, and my mom was baking cookies, I remember the smell of the kitchen. Mikuo was making goofy faces trying to make me laugh when suddenly the phone rang. At the moment my mother was whistling and had the cookie tray in her hand. She picked up the phone, still sounding as cheery as her whisting.

"Hello"

"_Is this Meiko Hatsune?"_

"Yes, I am Meiko Hatsune."

"_I have bad news about your husband, Kaito"_

"What do you mean?"

"_Your husband *sigh* sadly, died in a freak explosion"_

At that moment the cookie tray dropped to the floor, having the cookies fall scattered on the floor. The delicious smell faded onto the floor and my mother's tears drenched the crumbs making a bitter smell of sadness meld in the house.

"Y-you….a-are lying! *crying* T-that isn't t-true!"

"_I am very sorry for your loss"_

She cried and cried, didn't stop for minutes and She left the man on the phone, without hanging up. Sitting on the couch, she laid her hands on her face sobbing, still we didn't know what was going on. Even if we didn't, we cried as well because deep down we knew what happened. From that moment on we weren't the same, mom smiled less, Mikuo became more attached to me and I became a grown up. I took up more responsibilities since my mom turned to the alcohol. She would come late in the morning and jump on the bed and cry. It was the same scene over and over and each time, I would already have her coffee ready when she came home and put it on her nightstand. Mikuo would work many small jobs he could do at his age. He would sell bakery items, which I would make, on the street while passing people on their way to their professional jobs. He would also wash windows or anything from mowing lawns to babysitting. Right after school he would work while I stayed taking care of the house. Then my mom got it together, at least a little bit, and decided to get a job and both of them got a hold of the house once more. Then that day came, when it was night and I was sleeping.

I was slightly awake when I heard steps in my room and a creak on my bed. I look but without any movement what so ever, to simulate that I was still sleeping. I then see Mikuo sitting down on my bed looking at the floor. His expression emotionless and his eyes trained on me. My eyes were closed enough to seem closed but open enough to see what was going on. He leaned on and kissed my head and, "I'm sorry….Miku." I remember he said something in between that but I don't know what it was. That was the last time I saw him and when mom got worse. She went back to the alcohol and had fallen ill to it. Leading to my current situation, nothing but burden ever since my father died.

I hug the picture to my chest and put it in my luggage. Taking any clothes my brother left behind and sneakers. I take a good look at the house and smell the interior. Noticing it still smells like cookies and tears.


	3. Chapter 3

I settle into my room, having arrived in the huge mansion at 6:30 AM. Putting my clothes in the drawers, I notice something in my closet. The brand new butler uniform with a plastic cover and gloves on the bed and they were nice and soft, smells of clean laundry and lavender. Taking them out of their plastic cover, I go to change into my uniform and I decide to leave my luggage on my bed while I enter the bathroom. While changing I hear a slight creak on the floor but I dismiss it quickly considering that I don't want to go out naked. I quickly change into it and look in the mirror. Looking very classy with the suit, I feel ready to face my new job…and Len. I leave the bathroom when I notice something missing.

My luggage.

I know I left it on the bed yet I find myself looking everywhere. All the corners of my room have been searched yet I couldn't find it anywhere. I go outside my room, speed walking, making sure not to run considering I don't want to disturb anyone. Quickly I pass by a huge window and then my head clicks to an image outside of it. I take a double take at the window and my eyes grow wide as I see my luggage glistening in the courtyard fountain. Floating, like its own independent island, is every piece of clothing I own. I suddenly think of the photo I had put there and run no matter what I think is right _or_ wrong. I sprint to the courtyard hoping the picture I put there is ok. Out in the courtyard, I pick up each article of clothing and tirelessly look for the picture. I look to my right and find it there in the edge of the fountain, upside down and with only a wet corner. I take the picture in my hand and joy overwhelms me. I hug the picture to my chest and rub the picture with my fingers.

I suddenly look at the mansion and in a window I see Len looking down at me. From his face, I could tell it was him who did this. It was basically written all over his angry deadpan face. What surprises me is that he doesn't even look like he's happy at all at his little victory.

I know realize what dangers I might get into with Len. This job and the money I earn are at stake and also my true identity. I could never let that happen, NEVER.

….

**Len's P.V**

I have no idea why my parents keep on existing on hiring butlers. They know how I feel about them and they have done to me. It is like they don't even care about what I feel. Nothing that I do to my butlers affects my parents at all. They just keep pushing them on me. I've despised them my entire life and that doesn't seem to factor into their decision to get a butler. I will never stop hating them and I will die hating them.

Just recently my parents decided to hire another butler after I made the last one quit when I "accidently" put his bed upside down….while he was in it. That butler, Mikuo, is weirdly different from the others. He has teal hair and teal eyes to match and seems to be about the same age as me. Although he is shorter and not as well built but actually seems to be more...feminine. I also seem to notice that he looks at me with only one expression, no matter what the situation it was always worry. No resentment, anger or frustration, just worry. Even the first time I saw him he looked with eyes that wandered everywhere with a darted look. Having worries in his head that I don't understand. Mikuo has never looked happy, not even when he smiles at my parents or the maids. His eyes would never leave that worry that was plastered on his face.

The first day he came, I decided to "welcome" him by giving a taste of what is to come, like I usually do. I never do the same thing once so that it won't be expected by anyone. This time I decided to utilize the only thing he brought with him, his luggage. I wait in my room to see the reaction on his face when he noticed I dumped his luggage in the fountain. Suddenly I see him dash to the fountain and rummage through the clothes. He doesn't even bother to pick up the clothes delicately but instead throws it wildly on the floor. Mikuo seems to catch his eye on something that is on the edge of the fountain and it shocks me when I see him smiling with such intensity that it seemed unreal. His smile was genuine and he lost all worry that was on his face. What was on that piece of paper that made him so happy? Why do I feel the need to know what caused that beautiful smile to form on his face? I shake of my amazement and look at him once more. Anger takes over me at the sight of his happiness but for some reason my heart skips a beat at the sight of the smile.

Then, seconds later, his eyes meet mine and his face changes from that of happiness to what it was before, worry. That face is getting to me but soon I will be rid of it. There is no way I will gain any interest with a butler. I will get rid of Mikuo Hatsune and I will never give up, NEVER.

…

**Miku's P.V**

I walk into the house with my soaking wet luggage in my right hand and my clothes on my left arm. I look around seeing if anyone was there, not wanting to bring attention to myself when I hear a sudden gasp emanating from the top of the huge stairs.

"Mikuo! What happened?!"

"Well-"

I didn't even get to finish my sentence when Gumi runs down the stairs and rushes to my aid. She grabs my clothes and wraps her arm around mine and robotically runs to somewhere I am not aware of. As though she has done this before, she guided me through to wide halls until we reach the laundry room. Gumi places me at a corner and puts all of the clothes in the washing machine. She then hangs up my small luggage bag to dry and looks at me knowingly.

"It was Len, right."

I nod.

"I knew it! Please don't be upset with him! Please, don't leave! Sir Gakupo and Miss Luka are putting all their hopes in you! Please!"

She puts her hands in prayer formation as though praying to the heavens that I won't be upset.

"I'm not upset."

Gumi still looks like she is pleading and continues what she was saying.

"Len is a nice kid if you get to know him and- Wait! Did you just say you weren't upset?"

I nod again.

She looks appalled at me and I have a feeling she is used to another reaction. Gumi feels like she doesn't know what to do and still looks confused.

"Why?"

"I'm a person who would get upset over trivial things. I usually have other things to think about."

"Oh."

"Could you answer me this question with all honesty?"

I couldn't stop my curiosity from taking over me and I need to know the answer to this question. It is crucial to my survival in this house. Gumi looks at me confused one more time.

"Sure, what is it?"

"Why does Len hate butlers?"

Gumi's eyes changes her gaze from my face to the floor as she shuffles her feet.

"I don't know."

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying! I came here later on AFTER Len gained his hatred. No one ever speaks about it with any one. They are afraid to bring back old times."

She sadly looks at the floor and makes circles on the floor with her foot. I sigh and find no hope in knowing what the factor that is ruining my job employment is. I look at Gumi, who seems upset. I know that she is lying to me but I don't want to force her to tell me. Soon enough the truth will come out, somehow. I place my hand on her shoulder.

"It's ok you don't have to tell me. There is no need to be upset."

I smile reassuringly at her and she gazes at me shockingly. I could tell she was trying to hide the fact that she knew but she failed, miserably. She smiles back at me.

"Thank you."

I look at the clock and see it is 7:00 AM, the time for Len's breakfast to be brought up to his room. I brace myself and start walking out the door.

"I will see you later Gumi I have to bring breakfast up to Sir Len."

"Good Luck"

I smile.

"Thank you, I'll need it."

**It feels so refreshing getting this chapter out of my system 8D I have been waiting to post this chapter for some time now.**

**Me: GOOD JOB GUYS! *thumbs up***

**Len: No prob. **

**Miku: HOW DARE YOU CUT MY HAIR! *touches hair sadly***

**Me: Not this again! Didn't I explain to you what you would be doing in this story! You signed a contract and actually you cut your hair. Don't you remember chapter 1!**

**Miku: *cries* I know but you made me do it!**

**Len: Hey look on the bright side; at least you won't look like a dork in those huge ponytails.**

**Miku: HOW DARE YOU, YOU DWEEB! And you're not one to talk, MR. BANANA FOR HAIR!*pointing at his bangs***

**Len: You didn't dare just say that?! *glares angrily***

**Miku: *smirks* I. just. did.**

***loud bickering***

**Me: Not again! STOP IT WITH YOUR LOVERS QUAREL!**

**Len and Miku: WE ARE NOT LOVERS! *glares at each other again***

***loud bickering again***

**Me: *facepalm***


End file.
